how can u be prego again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
