So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
