I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
