1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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