I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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