oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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