The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
