I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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