I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
