OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
