Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
