girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
