I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
