Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
