He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
