we have officially lost it.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
