You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
