and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
