i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
