Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
