You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
love makes seman taste better
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
