Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
