Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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