u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
