He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hippo gnu deer
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
