I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
