Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
