u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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