Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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