I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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