You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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