if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
