At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Im part way to drunk.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
