Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize