Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
