WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
