I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
