I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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