You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
