I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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