I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
