I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
