he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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