YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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