I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
