oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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