Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
