We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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