hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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