I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
