when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
