That's when you crack a 10am beer
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
