I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
