im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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